


My World

by Rizaru



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Modeling, Romance, Secret Relationship, Suspense, Unhealthy Relationships, World Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-03-27 01:45:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rizaru/pseuds/Rizaru
Summary: A girl, a boy, a trip they had promised to make years ago to find a place so like them it could be called 'home'.But what to do, Ira thought, when neither of them were the same when they made that promise?





	1. Prologue

"Ira?" A female voice called my name close by, but to me it seemed so far away when tears running down my cheeks were the real concern I had. A model couldn't just go up a stage with red eyes and a puffy nose after all.

"Ira?" The persistent voice inquired again, now worried and too close for comfort, "Hon? Really now, I thought you were kidnapped or something- wait - are you crying?"

 _No Sherlock_ , my tired and snappy mind replied sarcastically and with a fine touch of venom seeping through, _I'm just sitting on the floor on the farthest away nook one can find in a maze of a building like this._

Of course, nothing of the sort was actually said - my time was spent sniffling and finding my broken voice to tell her to 'shove it'.

Ironically, that specific phrase awoke memories in me that were the root of my basin of problems. You see, it was said with precisely those words a year ago to my best friend, Minni, to stop meddling with my things - a huge surprise here - with Nathaniel. He was the bane of the problem, no doubt there. It just sadly seemed I was stupid enough to fall every time it came to him and that damning smile that stole my breath away while his green-gray eyes twinkled in the Sun usually gracing us with its shine.

That instance was related to the fact where I was first left questioning exactly how good a friend Nat really was. Because first and foremost he _was_ a friend to me. Minni was at the time and even now the only other person besides Fenwick to actually know me and Nathaniel even knew each other, lest were the best of buddies. But Minni knew to keep her mouth shut when it mattered and no one ever needed to worry about Fenwick; he was too much of a sweetie to let me down, or worse, Minnie, who he basically worshipped. I had never gotten to know why he did that. There were very few redeeming qualities to Minni who enjoyed riling people up and watching things escalate with only her words and careful observations. Of course, she wasn't that bad as a kid, but it got close, like  _really close_ if one went and asked the local girl gang about it. (They were a thing even then, ugh)

So, to the actual problem here, which is not Minni as one would think, I and Nat have been friends for the better part of my life. We ran through elementary school with twigs in our hair and blood on our knees with Minni and Fenni on our tails all the way until I had to move away on sixth grade. To me  _that_ is where everything went down with the open friendship I had with Nat.

I was away two years, two crucial, life altering years. Because it just so happened that they started junior high school without me. I was away when the bus picked up the scrawny preteens to a new, big school in the city. I was away when dozens new kids slammed into their lives. I was ripped away when it mattered the most.

I could never fault my parents for that move, though. I have come to understand too much about life to blame them for something that kept us alfoat in the society always testing us, twisting the ropes keeping us breathing until they were seconds away from snapping.

Life never gave anything easily.

My father is brilliant, a real genious when it comes to technology. Given our time it was a delectable trait to have. And still, at times, it wasn't enough. I had a very enjoyable childhood. Papa was thriving at work, bringing paycheck after paycheck back home with a grin and a tight hug to me and mum, who had her hand in local politics. Eveything was easy: I had the toy I wanted everytime I asked with the bright upturned eyes and a slight smile on my lips, a chance to dip into every hobby I wished to try, neat clothes Minni sometimes eyed with a comtemplative look in her blue eyes. And I always got her to go shopping with me and mum when that happened.

But as I said, life never lets anyone have anything without a price.

For us that harsh truth came in the form of the inevitable move on my sixth year at school. Dad had to go to another place to work because of 'complications'. So we moved. So I lost my friends for a few years.

Don't get me wrong there: it was a good place we moved into. A bigger city than the town I was used to, filled with people and possibilities. While dad worked to make ends meet with mum, I was always off somewhere, whether dancing ballet, playing the piano or running around in the wet mud after a footballwirh my piers Among all my hobbies, the one that stuck with me was aikido. It gave me a new perspective in my adoslescemt body, steadily growing into that of a young woman. It grounded me. (And kept me fit and ready for the darkest parts of the city life, too, sure.)

When our eight year started, I returned. Dad had gotten a chance to return after the 'complications' were settled. I was kiddy and practically ecstatic I could see Minni, Fenni and Nat again. The night I was back in my home, the real  _home_ , flicking the light switch on and seeing my own room again all I could think about was the fact I would have to sneak out to meet the others as soon as I could. Which was what I did, of course, being the reasourceful girl I was.

How they had changed. Fenwick wasn’t as awkward as he had been and I saw how he and Minni (gorgeous as always with her confident outlook not even puberty could outwin) were more in sync than ever. And then there was Nathaniel. My Nat, the energetic boy who shared my joyful outlook at life and the will to see _everything_. He was gorgeous, too, then. Exceedingly handsome, really, and when he hugged me along with everyone else in our secret base I felt a new kiddines start in my stomach. That was the moment I knew I wanted more with him, whatever that more was.

But the next day plummeted my spirits like no other. School began. That new, big school where Nat, my Nat, was in the centre of attention from both girls and boys. I knew he'd have friends, I wasn't stupid. But the girls that hung out with The Circle were a zealous bunch. The ones from our town along with new additonals and you had your typical mean girls. Minni stared at the giggling, gossiping group with me, standing there popping her bubblegum and leaning against the wall coolly, like it was an everyday occasion. I was incredulous, slack jawed almost. Too bad it actually _was_ an everyday occasion.

"Tell me again", I asked her with a disbelieving voice, "why is Nat tolerating them?"

Minni finally looked from them to me and a nasty kind of smile twisted by her lips before she flicked a few stray strands of her straw-blonde hair away.

"You should know girls are never the same with guys and girls", she said, "The guys are just the kind you and Nat would like to hang out with - which means ready for your flippy whims. Which also means all the girls flock to them, being the cool, athletic type they are. I doubt it's by choice they have exactly those vultures 'round. They just bullied everyone else away while keeping up appearances. Guys can be rather thick, don't you think?"

I could say nothing back to that, only hum in agreement. Of course I knew. Once again, I wasn't stupid. I knew by now how high schools worked; clicks and all. And thus I knew I would never find myself in the company of that specific group of girls. Sadly, that's where Nat had lodged himself into.

So began our new relationship, one only few knew existed.

I was content, for the most part, keeping up with my studies more because I knew they'd carry me along like nothing else could in the forming society but also because I enjoyed learning. High school spirited past and so began college and the time when we'd be adults. That transition was around the time when I demanded Minni 'show it'.

It was the time the school ended and summer began. The summer we were adults and free to our whims. Me and Nat had a promise we were sworn to keep. We would travel the world together. At the time, though, Minni wasn’t so sure I should go. Because of reasons. Things that had grown from whimsical things to deeply guarded secrets that should never be shed the light of day from between us friends. There were some things even Minni didn't know and that said something. The years, as fast as they had disappeared, had seen to some momentuous changes after all.

 

True to my word, I did go anyways.

 

Now I'm not so sure I should have.

 

As I said, life is _never_ easy on us..

 


	2. Boarding day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, it's been a while since I've updated anything. Not really much of a surprise for me - I knew I'd be busy during summer and fall with work and university starting. Working six days a week with day&night shifts does that to a person. Well, but now I'm back because inspiration decided to ruin a lecture for me today and I just had to write more to this story. It's good to be back, sorry I kept you waiting~  
> Riza xx

 

"-ni, no Minni! Stop speaking for a second, will you! Thank you. As I was saying _I know_ you wanted to be here today, but I understand you had work and that's alright. We'll skype in no time when I land in the afternoon and then you can bug me about everything as much as you want", I huffed to the phone with a fond smile on my lips as I walked further into the lobby of the airport, "We got a deal, hon?"

"I- Well _alright_! You win, Ira, but just because Mr. Gallagher will have my head if I skip on my first day in my dream job. You better have that laptop open when I call you!" Minni threatened with an irritated grunt as something being moved was heard from the line alongside her huffing and puffing. Working with the best designer in town wasn't just lazing around and admiring pretty clothes after all.

"I will, don't you worry. And just so you know I'm terribly upset that your precious self isn't here to see me off, don't you fret about me forgetting you", I said and grimaced internally. While not false, there was a reason I was flying today and that was precisely because I knew neither Minni nor Fenwick would be able to see me off. There were some parts of my travel plan they knew nothing about, mainly that I wasn't going to travel alone. Speaking of the devil - I hurried behind a marmor pole and lowered the tip of my hat to cover my face better as a snippy and girly voice complained from behind me.

"I really don't want to see you go, babe. You're leaving us all ( _me_ ) here for the whole summer! It's not fair, or even that fun - and did you hear that Ira is leaving too? I heard Sammy talking about it with the boys and she's apparently going around the world - like that's a wise choice right after college ended. She won't get into any good universities now.."

The voice faded out into other chatter as the pair went on their way but I heard enough to know Emma still hated me for no apparent reason but the fact she had found out I and Nat were childhood friends and that I was often talked about among the guys. She was a nice enough girl, but jealous over the tinies things and too snippy to be in the kind of groups I liked. She and Nat had been together for half a year now and that was the reason she was here to see Nat go - with me, unbeknowns to all. But we had made a promise years ago to go on this trip together and now we were here, ready to fly away on search of the world. While it was annoying to keep it down so as to not have Emma's wrath upon us all, I was happy I managed to go at all. Our friendship had been kept quiet for the years after my return and now wasn't really the best time to announce we were the best of buddies.

"Hey! You there Ira?" Minni's voice yelled from the phone and I remembered I was in the middle of speaking to her when hiding behind the pole.

"Yeah, sorry, something came up and I didn't hear what you said", I placated her and moved onward again, tugging my bags along.

"Thought so. Remember to look after your bags - I'm not going to come over to who knows where if you forget your clothets on some hotel in a wrong country!" she warned me and I smiled, happy to hear her worry about me.

"Sure thing, Mins. I'll be careful to not make your life hard."

"We'll see. Now don't go making the guards faint while taking of your clothes during the bagchecks and remember to keep the pepper spray on hand at all times! I gotta fly soon; boss won't be lenient with me if he sees me yapping on with you while on hours. Love you, hon, fly safe!"

"Thanks, Min. And don't you make Mr.Gallagher retire early - I don't think the city would like you much after that", I said and smiled at the woman who took my bag to be weighed and placed in the plane.

"Oh, I'll  _never_ ", Minni laughed and shut the line so the last I heard was her pearly laughter tinged with mischief.

I slipped the phone in my bag and departed from the desk with a few polite words to the woman. Now to go to the plane without beings seen by Emma. If I knew her at all, I was positive they wouldn't go through the bagchecks yet, so I should have some time to slip past before that. Minni's words about the guards fainting made me chuckle to myself. She thought too much of my charms, that much was for sure. And it wasn't like I'd be required to take my clothes off, for goodness sake! So no worries, my sunkissed blonde tresses were not that unique and while I had to admit I had nice green eyes there were tons of people with prettier ones. As for my body, I knew I had the muscle but it was lean and not bulgy like all women had who worked out even a little. If someone asked me I'd say Minni was the pretty one with her straw-blonde hair and blue eyes that reflected so much life in them. I loved taking her pictures because she made them alive with her personality that shone through even in 2D.

As expected I got through like clockwork and went to sit in a seat by the huge windows, taking in the palnes outside and sighing a bit with a soft smile. Here I was, ready to do what I'd dreamed of for so many years. We'd both saved all the money made from our summer jobs to cover for this trip, knowing our parents would cover everything usual like schoolcost and food. It was tough to not spend on any nice dresses I'd seen on the shops or the new camera I drooled after but this here was what mattered. Nathaniel thought the same and in a way we cheered each other up when others spent their money on simpler things.

"Whatcha dreaming?" a low voice inquired by my ear and I straightened like electificied.

"Nat!! Don't scare me", I reprimanded the boy with a short laugh and turned to look at him, "Whatcha think? Me sitting here and staring at aeroplanes?"

"..That you want to be our pilot?" the boy guessed with an innosent expression.

"Yes, how'd you know? Of course you'd be my second in command in the pit, keeping sure I didn't crash the thing", I replied with a smile and he huffed while lowering to sit beside me.

"I'd save us all, you mean. I wouldn't let you drive a car, let alone a plane with hundreds of people inside", Nat said with a cheeky grin and I swatted at him.

"Yes, yes. Who's the one that got his license rewoked because they were caught speeding?"

"That was Sammy as you well know. I was lenient enough to take the blame."

"Sure you were, Nathaniel."

"Don't use the name card, it makes me sound like a criminal."

"Then you better not act like one."

I quieted when he didn't reply and turned to find him watching me with warm eyes and a smile plastered on his face, brown hair tickling his eyes keen on mine.

"I missed seeing you", he admitted and fell back to lounge on the chair like nothing was amiss. My heart started beating faster and I felt my cheeks color, but I fought them down and smiled, too.

"Me too, Nat", I said and hoped the naked emotion wasn't audible in it.

 _This_ was why my life was such a mess now. These moments when it was clear for all to see the love we had for each other, all the while he went and took a girlfriend. I honestly have no idea what Nat thought he was doing when one day I came to school and Emma was hanging from his arm with a triumphant smile while the previous day we'd spent together having these kinds of moments. And still I was too weak to just walk away and leave him behind. I knew I'd never find someone as precious to me as he.

_We will be boarding in two minutes--_

I sat up when the voice called and we picked up our things and took out passports and planetickets while forming a line. It all went easily enough and soon we were settled in two corner places, me next to the window and Nat on the isle side. We kept relatively quiet and watched the people gush about.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this"; I murmured and kept my eyes on the morning sun in the distance.

"But we are", Nat's voice came from my left and I turned to smile at him when he took my hand in his and squeezed it with a grin on his face and eyes smiling fondly, "and it's going to be awesome."

He leant in and kissed me before I got to replying and I responded instantly, kissing him back before biting at his lower lip playfully.

"Of course it's going to be amazing. You, me and the world. Like we promised", I said and thought back to when we were only little brats runnign around town all the time.

"We are just that amazing, you're right", Nat laughed and we settled to take in the rise of the plane, hands still held between us.

Now many would think me an incredibly horrible person for kissing someone else's boyfriend and going on a trip with said boyfriend without telling anyone about it, and true it was a very troubling situation on many accounts. But to those thinking I stole someone's boyfriend, I'd like to remind: you know not the whole story. Because to me, it seemed like someone stole my boyfriend, or more like shared him with me. You see, me and Nat, we go ways back. We were childhood friends, then I moved and we were kept separate until I returned and we picked up where we left of, with newfound feelings lingering in our hearts. Or that's how I read it when we started kissing one day, and from there it grew until we were as close as any couple, spending our time talking, playing, kissing and having sex. And then, one day, I found out he took a girlfriend. And the next day he came to mine and kissed me like always so I responded, not willing to separate from him. We did talk about it, briefly, but we did. He said she's his girlfriend sure, but I'm his Ira, whatever that meant, and so we kept at it. We kept at it and I felt how my heart was slowly torn to pieces with every day it continued on. We had never specified what exactly we were, so I felt I had no right to demand he stop seeing her. Because in the end, while he held my heart, we were _nothing_ to anyone else but each other.

Few knew we were friends, fewer knew we were  _more_.

And now, this trip was meant as a venue for me to find out what it all meant, if I possibly had any place in his heart other than his best-friend-with-benefits.

I was not going to keep such a hallow place for all that I loved him. I wanted more or I was going to leave him for good.

Those were my options - now I had a summer to work out which one to take.


End file.
